30 years is longer than life…

It was my parents 30th anniversary yesterday. I almost got to play a staring part at their wedding but they did me the honor of sparing me being a born a bastard rather allowing me to become one. 30 years together. Thats an impressive effort particularly as they had to put up with both my brother and I. The longest relationship I’ve managed was 3 years. The longest my brother has managed is 30 days, the most some of my friends can manage is 30 minutes and I have an ex-flat mate could barely make it last 3 minutes.

So what’s the secret? I’ve no idea but if I learnt anything in my 3 years its that its not bloody easy. Growing together, challenging eachother, supporting eachother, loving each other as each goes through life thats tough. I used to think the secret was to have common projects – kids, holidays, being elected president. With the right project you can stay together through anything – just ask Hillary. But its not enough – without common projects I don’t think that you can stay together, but its not enough for you to stay happily together. I’m not sure there is a right answer, one that can be universally applied in every situation for every couple. But I’m sure there are some good ideas out there so feel free to let me know.

A month’s a long time

But not much has happened. In a month I’ve had no dates, 2 “just friend” conversations and kissed two girls. Its been slim pickings. I’ve had ups and downs, gone off dating and now come back to it. And so I’ve decided to refocus and restart the blog. The next few posts are going to be a little out of order as I try to recap the last month and yes I know that’s not how your supposed to do it. But fuck it -its my blog and I’ll do what I want. But now Californication is on so I’ll have to leave you.

Is it wrong to want to be David Ducovny’s character when I grow older?

How the hell am I going to get to 50?

So after these last two posts I was thinking fuck it maybe all this dating is just too hard. Maybe its easier being gay and hanging out at the Green Park in Darlinghurst or at the Cook Phillip Swimming Pool. That way you don’t have to worry about whether they call you back or not because both sides know what they are getting.

But I guess its not all doom and gloom for me at the moment. Bus Girl appears keen – more on this later, Friday night my flatmate and I are heading out with a bunch of young girls from Manly he knows, Saturday night I’ve got a good friend up from Melbourne and we’ll head out and Sunday another friend is trying to organise a dinner with some eastern european ladies. So things aren’t looking too bad. But I guess the point is that dating takes energy. You have to be resilliant in the face of adversity and all the back handers and  the not knowing.

A terrible analogy but I feel like I’m on a journey but haven’t been told where I have to get to  or what the best way of getting there is. So, I wander around aimlessly trying to pick destinations that seem fun and hoping that the method of chosen transport will get me there. Mostly for the moment it breaks down or stops on the side of the road to have a dump and refuses to move any further. But I have to view it as an adventure. The only thing is that I may have to take a lot of donkey rides to get somewhere and when I get there I may not know I’ve arrived!

Date #2 WTF?

So its been four days since I texted Date #2 after what I thought was a pretty good date. Lively interesting conversation, good flow, lots of jokes and laughter, very easy & relaxed. But still no reply. I rang her on Tuesday and left a message to see if she wanted to go to visit the NSW art gallery at their Wednesday night late session.  

 

 

 

Nothing. 

 

 

 

 

We had a conversation during our date about texting etiquette and agreed that if you like someone you shouldn’t play games but should just play it naturally. If you want to respond immediately you should. I can only take it from her response she didn’t feel like texting back.  I was warned that she had a reputation for being high maintenance. Is this her being high maintenance and wanting me to chase or is it that she’s just not that into me? Honestly I can’t be bothered. I’ll leave it a few more days and then try once more. I’ve got better things to do than waste energy on girls who can’t get back to you.

What did I do wrong…

Thurs: Her: Hi Sorry who’s this?

Thurs: Me: Hey its me, I met you last night. Sorry I must have called you accidently. Anyway wanted to say it was lovely to meet you and would love to catch a drink sometime.

Thurs: Her: Oh hi, hows it going? It was nice to meet you to. Yeah I’d love to catch up for a drinnk sometime.

Fri: Me: Cool, unfortunately I’m in Melbourne this week. Can we grab a drink next week? Where do you work? Really sorry for delay. X 

Fri: Her: No problem, next weeks great. My office is in glebe. Where abouts r u based? X 

Sunday: Me: Hey, just recovered my phone after losing it in a night club on friday! I’m based in North Sydney so lets do something near you. I’ll call to organise. X 

Monday: I called, no answer, didn’t leave message.

Tuesday: Me: Hi, are you still up for dinner on Thursday I was thinking dinner and drinks somewhere in glebe or surry hills. Cheers x 

 

Not quite sure how I managed to lose this one: Too keen, too apologetic, she met someone else, she was worried about going on a date with a guy who leaves his phone in Prince of Wales in his jacket because he was too drunk to find it on his way out… Anyone???

Date #2 – Lord Dudley

When I moved to Sydney I heard a lot about Sydney’s weather compared to Melbournes. And whilst ultimately Sydney’s climate is certainly warmer than Melbournes. There are some days when its weather is truly shit. Yesterday was one such day. Cold wet and miserable it poured driving rain for 24 hours non stop with wild gusty wind ruining umbrellas and leaving you soaked after even the briefest of moments outside. Such conditions were not conducive to visiting an outdoor art show or 35 pieces for the Sydney Biennale on Goat Island, so after some hasty deliberation the date venue was moved to somewhere with a roaring fire and tasty grub. Timeout Sydney was quickly consulted and the Lord Dudley selected and it passed both criteria with flying colours. Packed with people and atmosphere it offered warm cosy respite from the elements and friendly staff and a delicious hot steak pie with chunks of beef in a tasty rich stew and golden crust. Washed down with a very passable house pinot it was most pleasant. The only downside was the football in the main bar, but in the restaurant we were able to escape the cries of excitement as Collingwood beat Adelaide and enjoy our conversation. Its definintely a great pub at almost any time of the year. The food and restaurant and both excellent and the clientele are much nicer than the usual mix of Sydney posers and wankers. Definitely worth visiting.

Date #2 was with a lawyer that a friend of mine had set me up with. A lovely looking down to earth girl with a great figure and easy smile. Charming and sophisticated without being full of herself. We ended up staying well into the early evening when we reluctantly parted for friends birthday parties. I was far drunker than I intended to be probably not helped by the two wet pussies that we had ordered for us by a well meaning bloke there to celebrate his 30th. I wasn’t impressed by the shot – a rough mixture of cheap vodka, cranberry and lemon. But it did prompt some interesting conversations about the right mix required for a good wet pussy. Aparently a wet pussy requires a good hard-on (half kahlua and half baileys) and should be followed soon after by an orgasm (vodka, baileys and kahlua).

 

She texted me to say she had great fun with me.

I’ve texted her asking her to meet up later this week.

I love this clip

This song is great – catchy, upbeat and with a french electronica sound. I love the film clip set in Shanghai – awesome colours and great scenery. Enjoy.

http://www.walkingonadream.com.au/

 

Actually on reflection this song is a lot like living life in Sydney. Bright, beautiful, catchy and easily repeatable yet ulitmately lacking depth and a little shallow!

It started on a bus

So there was a girl who hopped off the bus with me the other day. Short, blonde, very cute.  She followed me most of the way home and just when she turned off to her block of units I turned to her and said something stupid about being relieved that she wasn’t stalking me. She gave it more credit than it deserved, laughed and went inside.

A few days later on the way home I hopped on the bus and noticed her. I said ’hi’ and we started to talk. When we hopped off the bus it was pouring with rain so we shared her umbrella back to her place. The day after it was still raining and this time it was me with the umbrella. After I had walked her to her place I asked for her number and a few days later she invited me for dinner. A few cheeky texts later and I have my first date. I’ll let you know how it goes…

Girl on the train

I sat opposite you and didn’t say a word. You were beautiful. Gorgeously beautiful. Your eyes steely blue and full of intent. You lips soft, pursed and subtle. Straight brown hair tumbling over your shoulders. I was awestruck but had nothing to say. Desperately I searched for inspiration in your bag. It was there - your Continental Hearty Beef Soup. Was it really hearty? Was that all you were going to eat for lunch? Isn’t hearty packet soup something of a misnomer? Questions rushed through my head, all of them equally lame, but it was too late  - I’d broken the 3 second rule and was frozen out of any chance of conversation. How could I start now after one stop had passed. Then it was two stops and suddenly you were gone and I was left contemplating my half chance. Why should I care what you think if I talk to you, I’ll never see you again - but I do. Where had my courage gone in my sobriety?

A cold wet kiss

Is the first kiss really that important? Girls seem to place a lot of importance on it – Were there sparks? Was he sensual and soft or hard and strong? I don’t think guys usually care that much. I’m not that a big fan on drawing to many conclusions from it. First kisses can be awkward, uncomfortable, occassionary taste of  garlic and often taste of alcohol – at least mine do. You only have to care if you never kiss the person again and if thats the case you probably don’t really care about what they think anyway. Although a really bad kiss will put you right off the person or them off you - so its important to get it right if you can.

So what inferences should be taken from that first lip contact? I recently finally plucked up the courage to kiss a girl that I’d been interested in for ages. After what felt like and probably was hours of me sitting there paralysed, listening to her and desparately wanting to embrace her I finally lent in and interrupted her with a kiss. But after so much anticipation and thinking about what it would be like I was surprised when it was cold wet and brief. The kissing got better afterwards but seemed to lack the warmth and passion I was seeking or was I still feeling the disappointment over that first kiss? What did it mean? Did she feel it as well? Was it just lack of practice or a lack of passion? Was it just a bad start or is it an omen of things to come? I don’t know but I hope not.